El Bicho's Hive

A Collection of Reviews Covering the Worlds of Art and Entertainment alongside other Snobbish Ramblings.

Friday, July 30, 2004


Directed by Danny Leiner
Written by Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg

For those of you who have been fiending for the next Cheech & Chong movie, this will certainly tide you over. Harold, an Asian investment banker, and Kumar, an Indian student who aced his MCAT, are twenty-something stoners, who over the course of one evening go on an odyssey for the nearest White Castle to satisfy their munchies.

This film is packed with sex, drugs and gross-out humor. The story jumps around like a cartoon plot, going for jokes and throwing logic out the window. The main characters are intersting and it was a nice change of pace to see two minorities as the leads. I thought it was funny and had enough laughs to keep me entertained in a large group of people. I doubt I would have liked it if I had watched it by myself and I don't plan on seeing it again. I will not be buying the DVD no matter how may extras of sex, drugs and gross-out humor they add to the unrated version. If this film makes money, as I think it will, expect further adventures.

I saw a preview of the film and New Line better start keep better track of their employees. There was a very rude girl who kept shrieking at everyone who thought about sitting in the empty reserved row, even with five minutes to go before the film started. She needed to get high and mellow out, but the audience did have a few stoners in it, and I’m not talking about the cute Asian chick in the row behind me, who in a very loud voice discussed almost having sex in an alley with a guy in Santa Barbara. She went on to explain that the condom broke before they joined, so she ran off, leaving the guy with his underwear around his ankles. No, I’m talking about the couple sitting next to me who brought spreadable cheese and crackers. I know you’re thinking, what’s wrong with snacks. But that’s not where it ended. The guy went to the concessions stand to grab mustard and relish packets and spruced up the appetizers.

I don’t blame them though because I’m sure the film would be funnier if you’re high when you see it. I had thought about smoking a little to experience the film properly, but as a professional I didn’t want my review to be tainted like so-many Barry Bonds' home runs, so I did the next best thing and brought my own stoner, so let’s get his thoughts.

Aloha, all. This is Fumo Verde with your summer comedy movie review of Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. To make this flick, take 1 part Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, 3.5 grams of Cheech and Chong's Still Smoking, a toot of The Wizard of Oz, and a splash of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (adds flavor of almost unbelievability).

Here you have two stoners, and not your average Jeff Spicolli stoner either. Harold (John Cho) is a junior accounting executive who wears a suit and tie to the office, while his best friend Kumar (Kal Penn) has graduated from med school and is seeking residence at big hospitals. It’s a common bond of weed and munchies that brings forth the misadventure most of us loadies have longed for; a quest for a 2-inch square burger, peppered with tiny chopped onions that upon entering the mouth begins its own race right out your ass (see why they call'em "sliders").

Harold is a mild-mannered doormat. He can't talk to the pretty girl next door (played by the beautiful Paulla Graces), his co-workers shit on him and the closest he's ever gotten to pussy is when he touches himself. Kumar is no better, he lets daddy pay for everything, shakes in his shoes when confrontation rears its ugly head, and his medical instinctiveness is going to waste, along with some brain cells, because he refuses to grow up and take responsibility. No doubt that these two kats are losers, but this road trip changes everything --as excepted.

It's a wacky ride through the back roads of New Jersey that brings the boys into the dark humor forest filled with wild raccoons, cheetahs, boil-infested tow-truck drivers, Doogie Howser on X, and a host of other "just under the rim" stereotypes for all walks of life. Shenanigans and hi-jinks are the words of the day on this zany voyage, but if you can get on the ride for half price, I would do so. This is a definite "wait till it comes to video" style of humor. The acting is decent and the characters seem genuine, nothing too over the top. There are some good laughs to be had, but not good enough to justify the price of entry and all the horse shit you buy inside --cause you're stoned and the munchies are setting in. So save yourself some cash, dislodge the porno from the VCR when this movie comes to your local video store --but wait till you can rent it for a buck.

I don't know if this was an indie film or what, but it sure reeked of Hollyweed. This has been Fumo Verde....enjoy the ride.